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I booked a flight back to Barcelona for four days to see my roommate again. Three days later I would fly from Düsseldorf to Cancun in Mexico.

How would it be with him after three weeks not seeing each other and coming as a guest now? It was a 50:50 chance: either I would realize it was nice when I was there but that’s it or I would like him even more.

I have to mention that before I never did something like that for anyone. I mean to change my plans, take a flight and come back to see the one again and come just for him.

I tried not to have too much expectations. Of course I had some. Actually I had some emotional ups and downs before I finally sat in the airplane to Barcelona. My poor best friend Insa had to listen to my chaotic thoughts: “But what if…? And when…? But…?”

The thing was that we were roommates before. We didn’t need to plan when we would see each other due to we saw each other anyway. Sometimes we said “let’s go out for XY”. 

In addition I took a bit my distance before I left due to my plans to go back to Mexico. I feared to fall too much in love… When we lived together I wasn’t aware I was already fallen in love or rather I tried to control it.

Anyway, I missed him a lot. I missed his smell, the sound of his voice, his smile, his laughter...  When I'm writing this now I remember him exactly. How he would smile and giggle, probably smoking a cigarette.

I arrived in Barcelona and met with him at the supermarket close by where he bought some things for dinner. I was a bit nervous because I haven’t spoken Spanish for about three weeks. Surprisingly it went quite well after some minutes.

When we entered my former apartment my roommates were awaiting us. It was great to see them again. It was like coming home. 

The only difference was that I wasn’t the roommate anymore. And I came to see my roommate. That was a big difference. When we all lived still together, my roommate and I didn’t kiss each other in front of the others. Even if they already know what was going on.   

Now it was different. It was very reliving for me! I came for him. And it was so great to see him!

I felt much freer and more relaxed due to I was already in Germany and everything went well there. Before I left Barcelona I was very nervous and therefore I closed myself. I always do it even if I know it doesn't help. It never did.

Now I could see I was more open. I talked with my roommate about my Travel to Come Closer tour and what I have planned when I would come back to Spain after Mexico. 

Before I didn’t talk much about it. I remember that I thought in between he wouldn’t be interested in my tour which is a big project for me. 

But the truth is that it was me who was just closed and didn’t talk much about it. I think it was normal due to I was nervous to go to Germany and back to Mexico and I didn’t know what it was with my roommate before. Things changed due to I changed. I felt very good now.

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My roommate had an invitation for an alternative radio show in Barcelona. They knew about his documentary about psycodelic drugs and asked him to speak about his experiences in the radio show.

He asked me to join him and I was very excited to go with him. 

We met with the radio moderator at Plaza Real. I asked my roommate how he would know how the guy would look like. He showed me his profile picture in WhatsApp.

The guy in the photo had quite distinct eyes, looked very eccentric like a kind of guru from India. I just said:”Noooo! Seriously?! I don’t believe it’s him…” 

But in the same moment I spoke it out, we saw the guy.

And he looked exactly like in his photo: distinct bright eyes, eccentric hair style (a big wave of hair), eccentric mustache like Salvador Dali, quite tall and skinny. 

He greeted us very friendly. I liked his voice. A radio voice. A deep bass voice. He was very charismatic. Yes, he was like a guru.

He asked me for my name:”Me llamo Jeanine.” “Hola Celine”.  Well, from there on I was Celine. My roommate tried to correct it but it didn't work.

Anyway, for this evening my name was Celine. 

The moderator brought us to his studio where already five other people were waiting for him. The show should start at 10pm. In the end we started at 11.30pm and ended at 2am.

We sat into a room where they recorded the show. It was very simple made and I liked it. We had a great view over the Plaza Real.

The show was more like a meet up with some people and see what happens. Everyone had a microphone to speak. Even me… I really didn’t know what would expect me. The topic was psychedelic drugs. I had not really experience with that.

It took quite a while until a conversation developed. I was out of it. First of all I missed the point to say something, secondly I’m not a native Spanish speaker and thirdly I had a different view on the topic and I didn’t want to say anything what could sound negatively. Well, but on the other hand I was now Celine… ;-)

My roommate said quite interesting things. Also he made clear that things like Ayahuasca is a very emotional experience and goes quite deep. It wouldn’t be for everyone.

At the end of the show the moderator asked me if I wanted to say something:"Celine! Querias decir algo?" I didn't understand it was the end of the show and I just said:"No." instead of saying something like "muchas gracias por estar aqui...". Well, it was my alter ego Celine who spoke ;-).

On the whole it was very interesting for me and I’m glad he took me with him. 

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I wanted to surprise my friends Verena and Yasmina and didn’t say anything that I would come back for a short trip to Barca. 

In addition I didn’t want to plan too much during my four days in Barcelona because I wanted to spend my time with my roommate. I didn’t tell many friends of my short trip due to I already said Hasta luego. Don’t get me wrong but for me it was quite emotional to leave, hence I didn’t want to go through it again.

Well, Verena went paddle surfing and met my Argentinean roommate who told her that I would come back… Ok, so it wasn’t a surprise anymore :-).

I caught up with Verena and Yasmina in Yasmina's lunch break. It was nice to see them and talk. It felt like I never left and when I said ‘hasta luego’ again it felt more like ‘see you in a couple of months’. Really! Now I saw how easy it was just to come back and everything is the same.

Yes, it was the right decision to come back in every sense!

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One the day I left,  my roommate took me with him to his band rehearsal. It was very great to be there and I’m happy I had the privilege to join it.

They make psychedelic rock music. I really love this style. Sometimes he sends me some demos he recorded or when we lived together I could hear him playing guitar in his room.

There was a great energy between the band members when they played. I could really feel it. Also it was lovely to see my roommate making music. He plays with so much passion and emotion. It was lovely to see him playing.

For me it was also interesting to see my roommate in this role.

I mean normally I saw him in the role as my roommate and some others. I like to call it rolls. We all have them. 

This roll was special. Yes, he has many layers I just discovered. It's very interesting for me and I feel privileged to get to know to someone's different layers.

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I found out what I wanted to find out on my short trip back to Barcelona. I wanted to know what it is for me with my roommate.

Well, I have to say that I see that I like him even more than before. 

It was great to be with him and I felt very good with him. We had lots of laughter (“Fafred sounds like something to eat. ‘I would like to have a fafred with strawberries and chocolate sauce…’”) and I enjoyed a lot to wake up beside him, smell him and see him. During siesta we watched South Park episodes and laughed a lot together… 

Yes, I like him a lot. During writing this I'm smiling and at the same time I feel sad due to I'm missing him or rather would like to share everything with him.

I don’t know the future but I know it feels very good with him, I can laugh with him, feel supported and I have freedom.

Those are the things I value right now.

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I just sat into my seat, still thinking of my roommate with a bright smile and also a bit sad, when suddenly a German guy seated himself beside me. He introduced himself as Jakob.

I found it quite nice that he did that. I couldn’t remember that someone introduced himself in an airplane. 

Jakob was a nice guy. It turned out he lived for more than 10 years in Barcelona, was an illustrator and gave tours by bicycle through Spain for German people. He also traveled quite a lot. For example through Bolivia where he bought a donkey to travel with it and carry his luggage. But it turned out that a donkey need to be in a group and they don’t like to travel around. Therefore he sold the animal to a family he met on his journey where it had a better life. What a funny and nice story! 

Yes, Jakob was a nice guy. I told him my story and said that I booked a one way ticket to Mexico. Jakob asked if I was sure that I could enter Mexico without a flight back. Yes! I was! I did the same when I arrived in Baja California from Vancouver.

Well… Two days before I would fly to Mexico I checked my ticket again and it said I had to show my booking for a flight back otherwise they wouldn’t let me in…

Therefore I had to book a flight back to Spain in July. Maybe it was a sign…

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Read next time about my coming back to Mexico where started my tour to check out places for my Travel to Come Closer tour. I arrived first in Cancun and headed over to Bacalar where I remembered why I’m fallen in love with Mexico… Yes, I was back!

Thank you for reading my story! During I’m writing this I’m sitting in a bus from the jungle in Palenque on my way to San Cristobal de las Casas.